not all who wander are lost

not all who wander are lost

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

You know your Sri Lankan when...



While browsing the internet today I ran across the Sri Lankan version of "You know your a redneck when..." I found the list so amusing I had to post them. Enjoy

You Know you are Sri Lankan when....
  1. You use banana leaves instead of plates, to eat rice and curry
  2. You know Buddhist chants, Hindu chants and the Islamic call to prayer...by heart
  3. You find apples and oranges to be precious commodities while durian and rambutang are part of your daily diet.
  4. You refer to friends by calling them "Machan" instead of "dude"
  5. Catching dengue is like catching a cold.
  6. You don't remember how to spell your long-ass last name
  7. You eat string hoppers, coconut milk and a three-course curry meal for breakfast
  8. You think Arrack (coconut liquor) is better then any French champagne
  9. You have mastered the art of squatting
  10. You use Siddahelpe, gripe water and Panadol to solve your medical problems
  11. You ride in a pimped out three wheeler when you drive down main street to check out the ladies.
  12. You have a Singer sewing machine at home.
  13. You call an older person you've never met before "uncle" or "auntie"
  14. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
  15. EVERYONE is a family friend.
  16. You parents always say "on the light" instead of "turn the light on"
  17. You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
  18. When the car allows 7 people yet you seem to fit 20 in there!!
  19. No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
  20. When you tell people that you are from Sri Lanka and they say "oh the country that got hit by the tsunami" (apparently the tsunami finally put us on the map!)
  21. When you see guys walking on the street comfortably holding hands and wearing fluorescent shirts and yellow BATA slip-ons..and it's normal
  22. You drink tea at every occasion
  23. You salt and pepper your mangoes, and every other fruit you eat
  24. You have a Sri Lankan driving license which does not have a date of birth printed on it!
  25. When you tell people you're NOT from India, and that you`re from Sri Lanka, they say "ohh okay," but really, they think its all the same thing.
  26. Your parents aren't afraid to chase you down the street and slap you if you talk back...
  27. Your Parents' idea of a day off is sitting through loooooooong sermons in temples, churches or mosques
  28. When your parents INSIST on carrying an emergency stash of mosquito coils in their first aid kit!
  29. When you've had chili smothered in your mouth because you talked back to your parents.
  30. When you know that "NO" actually means "YES" in Sri Lankan English...NO?
  31. When you know that there are people in Sri Lanka who could probably out-bobble a bobble-head!
  32. You get invited to dinner at an "uncles" house for 7:00pm; You get there at 8:30 and dinner is served at 11:58 pm; The arrack induced fathers start singing at 1:00 am while the mothers start making idle chit chat about the "old days in Sri Lanka". By 3:00am your "auntie" forces you to drink coffee so that you can get a good nights sleep when you get home at 6:00 AM.
  33. When a game of carrom (table pool) is used to settle minor disputes.
  34. When your mother doesn't want you going outside at noon because she thinks "you'll get dark".
As we have become accustomed to many things in Sri Lanka over the past year and a half we have come up with a few of our own:

You know you love Sri Lanka when...

  1. When you start referring to bats as "flying dogs."
  2. When you eat rice and curry for breakfast, lunch, dinner and love it.
  3. Seeing cows in the middle of the road during rush hour, or a family of four on a scooter/motorcycle doesn't phase you.
  4. Instead of saying "bye" after a phone conversation you say, "right, right, okay."
  5. When you use your car horn a minimum of 15-20 times a day.
  6. When you refer to "wander" as "coming and going, here and there with no purpose."
  7. When bobbling your head side-to-side means yes, okay, hello or goodbye.
  8. When you start speaking Sinhenglish (Sinhala/English) on a daily basis.
  9. When eating a meal without utensils is the preferred method.
  10. When going to a local restaurant you add chili because it just isn't spicy enough.

1 comment:

MaMa Gast said...

I love number 32...now that's livin'!