not all who wander are lost

not all who wander are lost

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Two things that, as my day unfolded yesterday, I thought important to add to yesterdays post:

1. I want to acknowledge that it is not easy to be in relationship with some people. It can be hard work, just to be present sometimes.


2. Just as we choose to recognize the challenging situations and personalities that are in our lives as potential teachings and teachers, it is very important that we hold ourselves in a position of respect and of love. Discerning what that looks like and sounds like is sometimes hard. At least for me. When attacked by someone that is hurting, what is the most loving them and to yourself? How can both people be lifted Higher in such a situation? It's hard to know what to say and what to do sometimes.

Yesterday was a particularly prickly day in the life of the woman I described to you in the previous post and her negativity was directed at me, which is not common. It was harder work than normal because I had to discern constantly how to remain present to her whilst protecting and honoring myself. I looked her in the eye, with love and hurt, and said, "No. Not ok." I confronted her several times in the span of a few hours which was exhausting but important. She matters. And I matter too.

Relationships with people who are really hurt, or who, for other reasons behave in ways that push people away when what they need is to be enfolded with acceptance and love, are hard. It is easier not to be in these relationships in fact. And sometimes, for some people, not having contact is the healthiest choice. But for those difficult relationships that we are called to sustain, it is a delicate and holy balance. An art, really.

Fumbling and falling and striving towards grace, with love in every step.

Peace to your day~


Anonymous said...

Good for you to hang in there. Many would just leave. Blessings on the two of you. Mom

Anonymous said...

Your last paragraph beautifully describes my everyday with some hard relationships that I've committed to. Thank you.

Bennett and Graves said...

Sarah, you spoke so clearly to an issue of mine also. I think that with some people our personal boundaries are more important, and therefore they are tested more. I try to take your approach too with a particular person in my life. Last week I found this;
Our natural state of being is joy, and it takes so much energy to think negative thoughts, to speak negative words, and to feel miserable. The easy path is good thoughts, good words, and good deeds.
Take the easy path.
May the joy be with you,

della said...

With Grace, that is probably the hardest part. You have my love and respect for not walking away from this difficult relationship. Your love and grace make you a wonderful person. I feel blessed to call you my friend and niece.