Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The leaving has begun and it's breaking my heart already. Rohani answered the phone yesterday and gave directions to the packing agent who will come to do a survey of our "stuff" to send back to the States. Later, Rohani and I were in the elevator together and she looked at me squarely and said, "So.....you are leaving?" Ugh...my heart. This morning, I came down to the car and the security guard asked me, "you go your country? you leaving Sri Lanka?" I answered yes. He asked, "Why?....Here no good?" I said in Sinhala, "I love Sri Lanka." He smiled. I explained that soon my work is finished but we'll be back for visiting later. "You come here to see us?" Of course.
At the same time as my heart is aching, I'm so ready, so wanting to come home. I'm looking forward to so many things. It's the leaving that's hard. And leaving is a process....like disentangling. If I had my way, we'd stay tangled up in our close good connections right up until the end. And maybe with some people we will be able to do that. For others, they'll want to pull back, disentangle.
I keep saying, "we're coming back" and that helps me. But the fact is, when we come back it will be in a different capacity. We'll fit differently into the landscape than we do now. A good change I think but it'll be different.
Speaking of change, in 3 more days, my sister Christi will give birth to a little baby girl, Lucy.
I hold that in my mind....goodbyes becoming hellos~