not all who wander are lost

not all who wander are lost

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

the ants come marching OUT

I came home tonight, flipped open my laptop, pushed the power button, and suddenly upon the keyboard appeared lots and lots and lots of ants. Little fastforward busybodies. I cringed. I thought of my expensive machine within which is kept our precious music library, our photo library, and lots of other nuggets of importance. Did these little dudes destroy my machine by having a party inside? Are they nesting there too? Is there an IDP camp of ants in my laptop?
Watching them scurry, more and more of them crawling quickly here and there made my skin crawl. Goosebumps. I got the spraycan of nasty poison...normally NOT my style and sprayed a perimeter around the desk, sprayed the desk, sprayed a napkin and wiped the bottom and sides of the laptop. What followed was an exodus of ant dudes that gave me the willies. After about 10 minutes of wiping away the crowds that had gathered, everything slowed down. Amazingly, the computer still works. I'm posting this blog to you good people. Thanks to the ants who came marching OUT....and don't you even THINK about marching back in.

Attention all ants in the neighborhood,
this is important and it pertains to your livlihood:
I, the resident human, the vegetarian, peace-loving,
organic, no chemical pacifist issues the following decree, effective immediately.
There is to be no trespassing or loitering inside or near mechanical equipment of any kind, stay out of the box of imported Fruit Loops, stay out of my imported peanut butter, and other food stuffs. Basically, if you must enter the premises, stay on the floor. I agree to provide safe haven on the floor, only if you stay on the floor. Violations of the above mentioned decree is punishable by the spraycan. No exceptions. You have received fair warning.

Ok all, bedtime for Sara....peace be with you.....even the ants, as long as they behave themselves in the house and stay on the floor.

2 days until Leo comes home. Colombo counts down :)


Zachary said...

you are a true writer i laughed my asz off the whole time
sounds like our new (u.s.a) immigration policy

Chaz said...

Did they come with you from the old 'hood? Cuz we had a colony of them right before we moved.

Doug said...

Sara...if the ants are as profuse as you intimated, then they will rule the floor and you will have to navigate atop the furniture to accomodate them. I appreciate Zack's analogy. I say, enforce the laws and secure the border. What's the queen ant do? She sends the baddest ants to the south border to keep the Guatemalan ants from trying to cross. No Mercy!
And what about the ants that are on a waiting list to cross 'legally' into your house?
Total Ant Amnesty to the 'undocumented' ants!