not all who wander are lost

not all who wander are lost

Friday, March 11, 2011

teacher

I think of myself as someone who does relationships fairly well. I share deep, caring relationships with my friends and family. I have a wide circle of Tribe.

I have one area of weakness though, and that is with people who lack the conventional sense of boundaries. Rrrrrr. Boundary issues. It is a life-long lesson.

Usually it's fine. People act in an appropriate way. Relationships are respectful, feeding both parties the goodness that friendship should provide. Once in awhile, I get into a friendship with someone who soaks up alllll that I give, and is left wanting....and chastises me for it....AND, slow to come to any concrete conclusions about this, I only recognize what's going on when I find myself exhausted, frustrated, hurt, and my give tank is on empty.

Unfortunately, it's happening with someone right now. I need to establish some rules of the game for my own mental health. I hate when this is necessary, but it is something I need to practice so.....bring it. And may I learn this lesson. I want to learn how to walk around with my boundaries in-tact and be quick to recognize when they've been crossed, and to have the words, right then and there to rectify the situation. It's the second and third piece of that which I need to practice. Wisdom and grace come with time and experience.

And so it is that (not for the first time in my life) I come to realize that this person who is causing me grief, has guided me straight to an area of weakness in myself, and is thus an important teacher.


3 comments:

Doria said...

Grrr boundaries. Im sure you will guide them away from said boundaries. Good luck. :)

Dikke said...

It is good to recognize who our teachers are.... much to often do they go unrecognized. Great thoughts Sara. Mom

della said...

Boundaries??? I think that I am a little too 'prickly' many times to strangers/new aquaintances, maybe I set boundaries too early??? I am going to give a lot of thought to this issue. This may be a learning time for me?? Maybe my boundaries are a little too unbendable??