Last night I dreamt that I started that job. The dream took all my sleeping time and what a fantastic ride it was. My first day at the office, last night. I woke up at 4:45am and haven't been asleep since. Saw the sunrise, listened to the birds, thoughts streaming through my mind. I think my subconscious was celebrating. You see, today is a special day. It is the last day that people can apply for the coveted job, which to me is a big deal. After today begins the selection process. It'll probably be another week or maybe even two before I hear from them but today is a mini-milestone, so WOO-HOOOOO! In my mind, it marks the beginning of the race. Let the games begin.
Yesterday, a neighbor friend asked me, "So do you want this job?"
"With every fiber of my being." I said.
My neighbor took a step back, lifted his eyebrows and said, "Atta girl!"
It felt so good to say that out loud. Allowing myself the freedom to WANT. To dream. Of course, allowing myself such freedoms, I also risk the crushing fall of not getting it. But you know.....life is short. And there is really only one place where real LIVING occurs, and that is on the edge....the growing edge of ourselves. And I am soooo at that place with wanting this job.
Meanwhile, our days are full and for that I'm thankful. Leo resigned from his census duties yesterday and has started helping an oysterman, learning a new trade. Pretty exciting. I help a little too, when I'm not being "Census Sara." It makes for interesting days and having oyster cages in the yard adds an extra air of legitimacy 'round these parts (as did the fact that we made it through the winter! We are beginning to be considered by our neighbors as "year-rounders.").
Well, that's all from me for now. On to oyster cages and census forms and daring daydreams~