what do you do with it?

sometimes i drift above it all,
often actually
.....or mostly.

yes, mostly.

sometimes i dip down into reality. into war. into torn families, into torn hearts and i am fastly shredded and shattered into small pieces. and i cringe at the sun as it rises and the fresh newspapers, at the traffic, how can you get your nails done, what do you mean there's a sale on washing powder?

no, no. can't we STOP and FEEL THIS. and then STOP THE MADNESS, THE VIOLENCE.

Just stop........STOP!

But the sun goes down and I go to sleep and so do many others, shit happens and the sun rises again. The papers get printed and I hitch a ride to buy some washing powder because time isn't stopping and my clothes are dirty. After sleeping I have some energy to think and pray.

I pray for peace. I might get my haircut next week. I open today's paper. My eyes skim the tops of the letters 3 dead bodies blah blah blah. Could I get a glass of water please? What did you dream about last night? I open an email about someone I know whose life was forever changed last night.....

What do you do with it?.....you stop inside because things don't stop OUTSIDE. And you pray. And you FEEL IT.....and then you keep feeling it but you also watch the sunset and eat something and go to bed and wish for a good dream and come to work with a smile and be kind to the people in your day and.....do what you can.....to be love and peace and patience and justice. In your walk and talk and speech and eye contact.

Somedays I'm better at it than others. I do it with some people in some circumstances. I strive for more often with more people, including myself. Being love, being peace, being justice....to myself, to others~

And now tonight, I will eat something, feed this body. And I will take a shower and lay this body down for a good sleep. I hope for a good dream. I hold sharp tough painful knowledge of violent realities in my heart, praying over them, trying to soften their edges with my spirit....finally releasing them into a realm Higher and more powerful than me. I pull the sheets and pillows around me. I hear the silence....the absence of bombs....the silence. I'm thankful for the silence. Mindful of the bombs. Thankful for the silence.

Amen~