so often in past years, i've gone through the process of dividing precious home-time into pieces between families and with that process, i always feel a sense of anxiety, guilt and frustration that "it's never enough time". perhaps some of you know that feeling. my heart beats faster and my breathing quickens as the total number of days gets divided and subdivided between here and there.
this year, before leo and i began planning our home-time, i decided i wasn't going to pick up those heavy bags of guilt, frustration, and anxiety that are often among my holiday bundles. much more energy available to feel excitement, joy, and anticipation of our homecoming.
our time in michigan with friends and family was blessed by good times and all of us appreciating the gift of being together, being present to each other. Hugging my dad, laughing with my sister, reading a book in the woods with my nephew, spending time with good friends, walking the forest where kodie's ashes are scattered, being a daughter and sister, niece and friend~
and now we're at papa blandford's in florida. zachary, papa, and 3 bulldogs including our sweet shadow were here to greet us when we arrived on christmas night. the past several days have been relaxing. walks in the countryside with the dogs, good music, zachary's good cookin', gift giving, reading in front of the fireplace, and gatherings of good friends. there is always a bulldog to hug, to lay my head on while i read, to cuddle up with on the couch. shadow has spent several hours laying on my lap, making up for lost time :) i'm soaking it all in.
i was reading a book from papa's shelf today called, Meditations with Meister Eckhart by Matthew Fox and the following sang off the page...
if the only prayer
you say in your entire life
is 'Thank You,'
that would suffice.
i look up to the gently clouded sky today, raise my arms and my spirit, 'Thank You' for this time we've been given, 'Thank You.'